How Does Your Garden Grow?

 

First Lady Michelle Obama has long been a strong supporter of getting kids into the garden so that they can learn about healthy habits, but did you know that gardening can also help develop the same six areas of the brain that we work on in Kindermusik? Well, the weather is getting warmer, so it's time to start thinking about planting. Think you don't have room for a garden? Try container gardening, a window box, or a Topsy-Turvy planter. Even the smallest gardens can provide opportunities to work on these skills:

 

Cognitive: Gerdening inspires many opportunities to practice counting and simple math. Count the seeds you are planting. If you are planting in rows, you can begin to introduce concepts like addition and multiplication. Leftover seeds can be sorted by size and color. Gardening also provides a great opportunity to talk about what plants need to grow: light, water, proper soil, and the right climate.

 

Language: So many opportunities! Reading the information on the seed packets peaks children's own curiosity about reading, reminding them that reading is the key to getting information. Practice reading the names of the plants on the seed packets, and practice saying the more difficult words, breaking them into small sounds (phonemes) for younger children. Flower names can provide a wealth of unfamiliar words, sounds and letter combinations.

 

Physical: First of all, gardening is obviously a great way to get children out into the fresh air to play. But there are many motions involved that provide children with opportunities to develop muscle and muscle control. Handling tiny seeds requires children to practice the pincer grip--the act of pinching small objects between the index finger and thumb. Poking holes in the ground with one finger and pulling weeds also work the muscles of the hand. Digging in the ground makes the child use muscles in a way they may not be used to. And working close to the ground gives the child a different sense of spatial awareness than working at a table or easel.

 

Social: Most gardens produce so much produce, it's far too much for one family to consume. This provides a great opportunity to talk about sharing and community. Why not create veggie baskets to bring to the neighbors? Or check with local food pantries and shelters to see if they accept donations of fresh produce, and contribute to people in the community you've never met? It's a great way to teach your child that when they are in abundance of something, they can find joy in sharing with others.

 

Emotional: Gardening with a grown-up shows children how much they are loved. When an adult sets aside time to spend with a child, they show the child how valued they are. The fact that the project is ongoing shows a commitment to spending time with the child in the future. All of these contribute to a child's sense of emotional safety.

 

Musical: Use the time you spend in the garden thinking up songs about what you are doing. Old MacDonald Had a Farm is a great choice, of course. The Farmer in the Dell can be easily adapted to what you are doing. Think of verses like "the farmer plants the carrots" or "the farmer digs the holes." Or try this simple rhyme found in Kindermusik's ABC Music & Me curriculum:

 

I planted little corn seeds,

They were very, very small.

But day by day, they grew and grew,

And grew to be this tall!

 

You can substitute the name of the seeds you are planting, and talk about the characteristics of the plant that you expect to sprout from them.

 

With this many benefits to planting a garden, why not put your green thumb to the test this spring? For more information about gardening with children, check out these websites:

 

www.eartheasy.com/grow_gardening_children.htm

www.kidsgardening.org

www.gardeningwithchildren.co.uk/

 

-Posted by Stacie Lopeman (a.k.a. "Miss Stacie")

 

The Singing Dad

Kindermusik dads often have an uncomfortable look on their faces during the first few weeks of a new semester.  "No, really...you seriously want me to dance around the room?" "Um, ok...I'll sing, but really quietly and pretty much in as low a voice as possible..."  As a musician, I never was too uncomfortable picking up my kids, dancing around the room, and singing out proudly during the "Hello" and "Good-Bye" songs that bookmark every Kindermusik class.  But I understand the embarrassment that men can feel in our society, where singing out loud can lead to the fear of a slushy in the face (Glee, anyone?)  What I love about Kindermusik, though, is that it gives men the opportunity to be excellent role models for their kids, especially their boys, in a place that is free of judgment.

Boys grow up inundated with messages about what it means to be masculine in America. And, usually, those messages involve sports and superheroes, not music and dancing. These are not mutually exclusive, but sometimes it can feel like boys are asked to choose between being "athletic" and "artistic." The boys that are "athletic" are deemed more masculine, while boys too focused on the "artistic" are deemed more effeminate.  I grew up as an "artistic" boy, and am very grateful that I had a father who supported me.  After figuring out that I had no aptitude or desire for sports, my father provided unfailing encouragement and support of what I did show an aptitude for: music.  I did not feel pressure from him, my primary role model, to force athletics over music.  I think what I learned from him is that a dad should be proud of whatever talent his child exhibits, whether that be at a keyboard or on a football field.  A child is going to look for that first approval, that first affirmation, from their parent. And the same-sex parent is the most important role model.  If a boy sees his dad embarrassed and unwilling to sing and be expressive, to move and dance, then he could be subconsciously assuming that embarrassment. It might not manifest itself immediately, but someday that boy could have an association between music and being self-conscious. And all boys should have the chance to experience the wonderful richness a musical life can provide.

Dads, Kindermusik is a time for you to throw inhibition to the wind. Have fun! Dance around, be silly, and enjoy your child.  You are laying the foundation of how that child will perceive your interest in music. Miss Jenn used to begin every Kindermusik semester by reminding parents that their voices are the most beautiful voices in the entire world to their children.  That goes for dads as well as moms. Be a good musical role model for your kids and take advantage of the safe space of Kindermusik where you can sing out loud and show your kids the importance of music in all of our lives. After all, Kindermusik is a slushy-free zone. 

-Posted by Erik Horak-Hult (a.k.a. Mr. Pied Piper)

 

Forget-me-nots

It's a topic some people find uncomfortable. Not something you bring up in polite company. But for parents who are living in the season of babies and young children, pregnancy loss is a reality. If it hasn't happened to you, surely it has happened to someone you know.

In September of 2003, a piercing pain in my side sent me to my doctor's office. When she told me I was pregnant I burst into tears, because I knew something was very wrong. Within a half hour of my ultrasound I was being prepped for surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy that had ruptured my fallopian tube and caused internal bleeding. It was outpatient surgery, and the physical pain subsided quickly. The emotional pain did not. I was completely blindsided by a grief that seemed to overtake every part of me. It was a long journey out of that place.

Since then, I have watched several close friends navigate through the intense emotions of miscarriage and stillbirth. I have watched them say goodbye to precious babies who they never got to know but who are beloved, none the less.

Research suggests that as many as 1 in 4 women experience pregnancy loss. It happens all around us. What if it happens to you?

• Be kind to yourself. Try not to have expectations for yourself of how you *should* feel or react. You might not cry, you might cry a lot. Give yourself lots of grace.
• Seek out a safe space to share your feelings. This might be a support group (see below), counseling, or a trusted friend or mentor. If you are part of a faith community, see what programs are available for grief and loss. Your OB/GYN can also direct you toward resources in the community.
•  Be honest with friends, family, and your partner about your journey and your needs. Try to remember that they are grieving your loss, too, even if their reactions are very different than yours.
• Know that even if time does not heal all wounds, in time you will learn to live with your loss. You will never forget, but you can carry on.

How can you support a friend through pregnancy loss?

• Acknowledge the loss. If you're not sure what to say, just say, "I'm sorry, and I'm holding you in my thoughts." Put the date in your calendar, so you can also recognize the anniversary of the loss. If you know the expected due date, remember that time as well. Flower and cards are nice, but even a simple phone call or a text tell your friend that you care.
• It's not your job to try to justify the loss or fix the hurt. Avoid saying things like, "I know how you feel...", "You'll have other children...", "Be thankful for the children you have...", "You'll get over this...", or "It was God's plan..."
• Don't worry about upsetting your friend by bringing up her loss. She hasn't forgotten. Take her lead as to how much she wants to share. It will bring her comfort to know that someone is remembering her baby. It is most hurtful to pretend it never happened.
• If you can, offer to do something specific. Saying, "Let me know what I can do..." puts the burden on her. Instead, ask, "Can I bring you lunch on Thursday?" "Can I pick up your daughter from preschool?" "Want to join me for a pedicure?"
• Know that grief can be yucky. Your friend will be changed by this experience, and some days the changes may not seem all that nice. Do your best to love her through it.

Resources for pregnancy loss:

http://www.nationalshare.org/

http://mommieswithhope.blogspot.com/

Empty Arms, through Compassionate Friends

Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center

Children and Families of Iowa

-Posted by Molly Hagkull (a.k.a. Miss Molly)