The Singing Dad

Kindermusik dads often have an uncomfortable look on their faces during the first few weeks of a new semester.  "No, really...you seriously want me to dance around the room?" "Um, ok...I'll sing, but really quietly and pretty much in as low a voice as possible..."  As a musician, I never was too uncomfortable picking up my kids, dancing around the room, and singing out proudly during the "Hello" and "Good-Bye" songs that bookmark every Kindermusik class.  But I understand the embarrassment that men can feel in our society, where singing out loud can lead to the fear of a slushy in the face (Glee, anyone?)  What I love about Kindermusik, though, is that it gives men the opportunity to be excellent role models for their kids, especially their boys, in a place that is free of judgment.

Boys grow up inundated with messages about what it means to be masculine in America. And, usually, those messages involve sports and superheroes, not music and dancing. These are not mutually exclusive, but sometimes it can feel like boys are asked to choose between being "athletic" and "artistic." The boys that are "athletic" are deemed more masculine, while boys too focused on the "artistic" are deemed more effeminate.  I grew up as an "artistic" boy, and am very grateful that I had a father who supported me.  After figuring out that I had no aptitude or desire for sports, my father provided unfailing encouragement and support of what I did show an aptitude for: music.  I did not feel pressure from him, my primary role model, to force athletics over music.  I think what I learned from him is that a dad should be proud of whatever talent his child exhibits, whether that be at a keyboard or on a football field.  A child is going to look for that first approval, that first affirmation, from their parent. And the same-sex parent is the most important role model.  If a boy sees his dad embarrassed and unwilling to sing and be expressive, to move and dance, then he could be subconsciously assuming that embarrassment. It might not manifest itself immediately, but someday that boy could have an association between music and being self-conscious. And all boys should have the chance to experience the wonderful richness a musical life can provide.

Dads, Kindermusik is a time for you to throw inhibition to the wind. Have fun! Dance around, be silly, and enjoy your child.  You are laying the foundation of how that child will perceive your interest in music. Miss Jenn used to begin every Kindermusik semester by reminding parents that their voices are the most beautiful voices in the entire world to their children.  That goes for dads as well as moms. Be a good musical role model for your kids and take advantage of the safe space of Kindermusik where you can sing out loud and show your kids the importance of music in all of our lives. After all, Kindermusik is a slushy-free zone. 

-Posted by Erik Horak-Hult (a.k.a. Mr. Pied Piper)